Anti-Social Media

On the Contrary.

There’s a lot of talk lately about social media being the replacement for proper relationships. That all this time spent on line is bad for us and will lead to isolation and an inability to communicate well in person or via the correctly written word. But I have enjoyed my time on social media for the last three or four years, I like chatting with family who live far away across distant seas, I like sharing recipes and looking at the growing children of those I know and some I don’t. I appreciate the cat videos, the shaming of dogs, who let’s face it really do behave quite badly most of the time. Imagine accepting those antics from a human. I do it myself, clean up unspeakable things and scrape various biological catastrophes from the rug. Why do they always do it on the rug? I enjoy the tests, I think they’re fun, what is your real birth name, how well do you pronounce words in the French language, rather well actually, and everyone’s favorite, the Grammerly posts. I like having quick access to a larger audience, I’ll post this piece as soon as I finish it, directing new readers to the blog and hoping a paying publisher will fall in love with me. 

I think the advertising that streams along side that which we have to say gives a good insight into what else we do on-line, for me it’s trying to find the perfect mother of the bride dress and because I have searched for this repeatedly I keep getting offers for custom made gowns from China for $99.00. I know they’re good because I bought one for our son’s wedding and loved it. So don’t knock it. At Christmastime if you let your loved ones use your computer you can get an inkling as to what they might be considering as an appropriate gift for you; last year I guessed the Captain was going to buy me a new truck or some tools, since that’s what he was looking at.  I enjoy blocking those whose political opines annoy or outrage me, click… you and your silly ideas are gone. I like a good rant and find Facebook a great place to let ‘er rip.  Righteous indignation is fun and as I find a reason to be outraged it’s very freeing to expand on my point of view from an imaginary soap box. And now that I no longer “work” for anyone I can swear and criticize as I please without the concern for those who may wish to quash my self expression. But I don’t take things to a personal level unless it’s a positive. I think there is enough horror in real life in this world to inflict more via social media, but in this, alas, I am in the minority. 

There are those on line who feel the relative anonymity gives them permission to pile it on, to ram ugliness through the screen via the (often very poorly) written word. Those with an agenda of exclusion and ill will towards “types” love nothing more than to use this platform to rant and rage about why everyone from a certain group is a bum and how the government is to blame for all of it. There are the seriously religious folks who are always reminding us of either one of two things; God loves us and it will all be alright OR we are all sinners and we’re going to die gruesome deaths for our troubles because we deserve it! Some folks enjoy creating a ruckus by posting an inflammatory comment, then never coming back to the conversation. 

There are posters who never espouse anything personal at all, just links to inspirational things that were written by others. Those who enjoy a particular stand on an issue and almost exclusively post about that, those who come so rarely to the medium that by the time they do the conversation has ended days ago. My brother is like that, I am always so excited to see a post from him then I don’t hear a word for months. It is useful to keep in mind that not everyone has something to say about everything, like me. I like to imagine where people keep their laptops or desk tops, or are they posting on their smart phones, I do that a lot when I’m somewhere interesting. I picture others sitting early in the morning like me, with a cup of coffee in one hand and the morning show on the telly. I like those chats that start my day, it feels like a virtual community. Let's not forget the stalkers, the Captain is one of those. Some of that has to do with his reluctance to espouse an opinion on much and some of it is because he's not really up on the "technology" for posting a photo or a link. Scary. Ladies and gentlemen please meet your pilot! But he's watching, silently reading everything WE have to say, if there is a photo on his page the kids will know that I have kidnapped his site. 

It’s interesting that we call the ones with whom we communicate via this medium friends, we say “Just friend me on Facebook” And they do and you have chats with them on a regular basis. I have a whole new group of friends with whom I work out and we talk about our progress and how hard or enjoyable the most recent bout of exercise was. The camaraderie is inspirational and motivational, it works. I see astonishingly open and honest posts from those in the middle of the tough years, raising teenagers and feeling used up and unnoticed and overwhelmed. I see posts from those who are losing aging parents and family pets. I see posts about death and birth and loss, extraordinarily private things, covered in great detail because there is a reception of humanity who will read and respond in the ways we need but cannot always request in person. We console one another, we really are virtual friends to each other. We offer advice to everyone on anything, cooking, nursing, gardening, love, sex, marriage and divorce…”Send the bastard packing” We share intimate details of good times and bad, we amaze ourselves daily with the delights of parenting our dogs, cats and children and we laugh with one another at crazy videos. These posts tell us all what we need to hear every day. We matter, we are noticed, we are a part of something bigger than us. We are friends.